Oh my hell, the week I have had. We covered a minor cold, digestion problems in the dog’s tummy, digestion problems in OUR tummies, and then are now coming out of Zack’s new thing – an eye infection. No, not pinkeye. Rather, an eyelid infection. It’s interesting how many new diseases I’ve learned about since giving birth. Children bring about a whole plethora of illness. And it’s not like I’m immune. So, fun times all around.
Today, I’m going to vent about diaper changes.
When he was little … and I mean like… infancy sized, diaper changes were easy. He stayed, he smiled sometimes, he giggled. We played peekaboo with the diapers and he enjoyed it.
Now?
Now it’s like I’m trying to change King Kong in the midst of a bank robbery while being attacked by an army of militia. He will literally bend any which way he can, trying to wriggle out of my grasp, while grabbing at WHATEVER is on the table at the time. Oh, and did I mention that he is as strong as 400 people? FML.
And then when I yell. Oh I yell. “ZACHARY STOP IT”
He doesn’t get scared and stop. He starts wailing, as if I have told him that he is a terrible person and needs to be punished.
I’m so sorry kid. I’m so sorry for holding you down extremely forcefully JUST so you don’t get any of your own poop on your hands that may potentially touch your face. SO SORRY.
Not.
And, yes. In public restrooms it’s basically the same ordeal. Except he has nothing to grab at you see, so the wailing begins WAY earlier. So I get these looks from 20-something-year olds as they wash their hands. Don’t you worry you little young adult you. Your day will come.
Anyway, I’ve noticed that they make straps to tie the diaper change pad to whatever furniture you purchase. They should make specific holsters for children. Especially mine. Someone make me a restraining device.
I’ve currently found a way to subdue him by giving him a tube of diaper rash cream to hold and distract himself with. Once he figures out how to open it though…. I’m fucked.
Happy Friday, err’body.
Mom's Last Nerve 